Category Archives: Bikinis!

Out of Office Reply (aka Skiing) + Cute Girls in Bikinis

swimsuitLong time no post. Deepest apologies but I’ve been knee deep in work and then the lifts opened and I went skiing and then I was waist deep. If only they made 130mm rockered keyboards…

Anyway, while some of you no doubt see this break in the action as a huge relief it’s been rumored there are others out there who insist on checking back in from time to time. To all five of you (especially the two of you who aren’t related), thanks for your dedication and I hope you will accept this video as a token of my undying appreciation.


Movember in Chamonix – Extreme Toplipiary

Movemeber in Chamonix

Never underestimate the power of the mo'. En garde!

Chamonerds, start your scissors – it’s Movember Guest post (and the first reference to Scythian warriors on this blog) by facial-hair-ianado and wordsmith extraordinnaire, Carlos Schtang.

Movemeber in Chamonix

Start with a clean face. No cheating, Elling.

It’s that time of year chaps, time to dust off the cut throat, charge up the clippers or simply sharpen up the utility multi-tool – Movember is upon us and all good self-respecting Mo’ Bros are leading the way, joining hands around the world for the good of one and the betterment of all.

Billed as a ’30 day journey into moustachery’, Movember sets out to raise awareness of a certain men’s health issue that is more often than not swept under the proverbial carpet. And that, coupled with the opportunity to publicly flaunt a forgotten side of man’s, erm, manliness should be sufficient. What more encouragement do you need? What further pearls of wisdom need imparting?

Prostrates are highly carcinogenic. Keep them in full view to facilitate casual checkups.

Oft frowned upon by the fairer sex, as well as rejected in favour of its more popular full-faced hirsute bedfellow, the art of Moustache growing/grooming, or top lip topiary or even Toplipiary as I like to call it, is fast gaining momentum as not just an artform, but a way of life… some would say a life force in itself. In modern parlance, it’s a bit like riding a fixie, or wearing a trilby but way, way cooler.

Movember is not a competition. If it was, Scythian warrior reincarnate,, would crush us all.

Hyperbolic rhetoric maybe, but the time has come for the moustache (humble or otherwise) to finally claim its rightful place in the annals of time and the scrolls of history – from the first documented moustaches of the Scythian warriors of 300 BC to the many styles and guises we see today, through fiction and history the moustache has enthralled and (perhaps) appalled in equal measure.

Movember in Chamonix

Those not rallying around the cause will be ridiculed, then shot. In the prostate.

‘Tis true, shameful but true, that naysayers and dissenters persist in denouncing the moustache claiming it is the work of madmen, evil dictators and purveyors of dastardly devilment. But for every Adolf Hitler, there’s a Charlie Chaplin. For every Saddam Hussein, there’s a Salvador Dali. For every Fu Manchu, there’s a Hercule Poirot. For every Snidely Whiplash, there’s a Mario. For every Bruce Grobbelaar, there’s an Ian Rush. For every… oh sod it, you know what I mean.

So, brothers of the Chamonix tribe… cast aside your apprehensions; banish your cowardice to the dark forgotten room of your brain where it belongs and embrace the month of Movember and the art of Toplipiary.

Hair will grow; awareness will be raised. The world will be a better place… Honest.

Movemeber in Chamonix

Marisa Miller excels at raising awareness of a man's prostate, among other things.

Editor’s note – Mo Bros and Sistas, should be aware that Bar Dup will host their third annual Movember fancy dress, fundraiser party with amazing prizes, raffles and auctions taking place. Over the past two years the Bar Dup crew have raised over €2000 towards cancer research. Well done, gents.

19e Piolets d’Or 2011 Nominees … and cute girls in bikinis

Time once again for the annual Piolets d’Or, the climbing world’s equivalent to the Cannes Film Festival but without all the supermodels and yacht parties. And yes, I know, supermodels and yacht parties are the whole point of Cannes, but bear with me. The Piolets d’Or has something that Cannes, with its mercurial actors, megalomaniacal directors and bunga-bunga hangers-on, hasn’t. Y’see, while the entire film industry throws bazillions of dollars into packaging the triumph and tragedy of the human spirit into a one-hour and 25-minute multiplex mega-hit starring Vin Diesel and Lindsay Lohan in their most demanding roles ever, the Piolets d’Or is something that Cannes or the Oscars or surreality TV can never be. The Piolets d’Or is about the world’s hardest men and women staring the impossible straight in the eye and charging it with every ounce of strength, courage, wisdom and luck they can muster. The Piolets d’Or, gentle reader, is the real deal.

In 1991, Guy Chaumereuil (editor-in-chief of Montagne magazine) and the Groupe Haute Montagne launched the initiative “to raise awareness about the year’s greatest ascents across the world.” A list of recipients can be found here starting with the first Piolet d’Or, awarded in 1992, to Marko Prezelj and Andrej Stremfelj for opening a bold 3000-meter route on the south pillar of Kangchenjunga (8476m).

Certainly a lot has changed in the 19 years since the first Piolet d’Or was first presented and 2011 represents the third year of a new and improved Piolets d’Or. The updated charter states…

In modern mountaineering, questions of style and means of ascent take precedence over reaching the objective itself. It is no longer a matter of employing huge financial and technical resources (bottled oxygen, fixed ropes, high-altitude porters, so-called ‘performance-enhancing’ substances…) and large numbers of people to reach the top at all costs. The Piolets d’Or throw the spotlight on imaginative and innovative new routes, using a minimum amount of equipment, and building on experience.

19th Piolets d’Or Nominees

Colin Haley and Bjørn-Eivind Årtun – Southeast face of Mount Foraker, Dracula (M6R, AI4+, A0, 3170m)

Colin Haley, Bjørn-Eivind Årtun

Southeast face of Mount Foraker (5304m), Alaska

Yasushi Okada and Katsutaka YokoyamaSoutheast face of Mount Logan, I-TO (ED+, WI5 M6, 2500m)

Katsutaka Yokoyama and Yasushi Okada

Southeast face of Mount Logan (5959m), Canada

Malcom Bass and Paul Figg Vasuki Parbat, West Face (6792m)

Malcom Bass and Paul Figg

Wasr face of Vasuki Parbat (6792m), India

Max Belleville, Mathieu Détrie, Mathieu Meynadier and Sébastien RatelLunag 1, Close the Door (IV/5, F5, 1,200m)

Couldn't find a photo of the Lunag crew. Please accept this image as a token of my sincerest apology.

Southeast face, Lunag I (6830m), Nepal

Bruce Normand and Kyle Dempster East Face Mount Edgar, The Rose of No Man’s Land (VI, WI5+, M6, 2400m)

Quite possibly not Bruce Normand or Kyle Dempster.

East face of Mt Edgar (6618m), China

Sean Villanueva, Nicolas and Olivier Favressse (Belgium) and Ben DittoBig walls, Greenland

OK, I didn't even try to find an image of these guys. But you could at least give me credit for finding a photo with green land in it.

Devil's Brew, Seagull Wall, Greenland

The jury evaluates performances based on:

– Style of ascent.
– Spirit of exploration: original (previously unclimbed) route and/or mountain, creative and innovative approach.
– Level of commitment and self-sufficiency.
– High level of technical ability required.
– Suitability of route in light of objective dangers.
– Efficient and sparing use of resources.
– Transparency regarding the use of these resources.
– Respect for people, climbing partners, members of other teams, porters and local agents.
– Respect for the environment.
– Respect for future generations of mountaineers by leaving them the possibility of enjoying the same kind of experiences and adventures.

Lifetime Achievement Piolet d’Or

Doug Scott

In 2009, the “Piolet d’Or organising committee proposes an alpinist who, apart from their commitment and ethical stance, has profoundly marked their era.” The two previous winners were a couple of relative unknowns by the names of Walter Bonatti and Rheinhold Messner. The venerable Doug Scott will be in town to receive this year’s award.

Program of Events

Wednesday, 13 April, 21:00 – Chamonix, Cinéma Vox (€8.50)

Ascension du Mont Blanc 1903 (10 min.) – first filmed ascent of Mont Blanc.
Samsara (22 min.) Conrad Anker, Jimmy Chin & Renan Ozturk on Mt. Meru
The Swiss Machine (20 min) – Ueli Steck, speed climber extraordinaire

Thursday, 14 April, 21:00 – Chamonix, Majestic Congress

– Greg Child – president of the Jury, author of Postcards from the Ledge and Over the Edge.
***Tribute to Maxime Belleville – nominated for the Piolets d’Or 2011 for Lunag I expedition.***

Max Belleville - R.I.P.

Friday, 15 April, Chamonix, Majestic Congress

15:00-17:00 Selection of mountain films (free admission)                                       17:00 Doug Scott, Greg Child, Mick Fowler & Chris Bonington book signing         21:00 Piolets d’Or 2011 – the ascents of the year. Doug Scott, Chris Bonington and Jean Afanassieff share memories. Presentation of the jury. Presentation of the six nominated ascents. Presentation of the 2011 Piolets d’Or.

Saturday, 16 April – Courmayeur, Palanoir Cinema

18:00 Procession through town center by Courmayeur Mountain Guides.                21:00 Presentation of 2011 Lifetime Contribution Award to Doug Scott.

Sunday, 17 April – Chamonix, Salle du Bicentenaire

19:00 Slideshow and presentation by Doug Scott. €15 with all proceeds going to Community Action Nepal.

Page O’ Loveliness: Seb Montaz > Helbronner > Fresh Snow > Telemark > Cute Girl in Bikini Pt. 2

There’s just something heart-stopping about the pure beauty exhibited on this page. Happy Friday.

Seb Montaz’s Courmayeur Snow Report and a Cute Girl in a Bikini

After more than a month of drought we finally got a bit of snow and, as always, the best way to find out where the best powder fell is to stalk Seb Montaz. Yesterday he headed over to Courmayeur and scored what he reports as 25cm at 2500m.

Oh, and by the way, not that anybody in Chamonix would be interested but the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is out. Just sayin’.