Being a guy who’s not all that into contests I was kinda thinking I’d avoid an Olympics posting altogether. Unless of course one of the hometown heros was able to bring home a medal. ChamonixInsider is all about bigging up the homies, right?
Y’see I really prefer to think that sports like snowboarding – like surfing, skateboarding and climbing – are more about individual expression and personal growth than who can meet some panel of judges’ criteria of what’s good and what’s not. Of course, there are exceptions. Downhill skiing, for instance. In my mind that is without question the most amazing event at the Winter Olympics. But I mean really, how can you call a guy a loser because he was 2/100ths of a second slower than the next dude? I know, I know, the clock is the ultimate judge but seriously, 2/100s of a second? Whatever. I realize that with an attitude like this I’d be a lot better off taking my Birkenstocks and patchouli oil and posting a few telemark stories instead.
But for some reason that I’m going to find difficult to explain to my incredibly amazing and wonderful girlfriend, I found myself on the Sports Illustrated website, doing some … ahem … journalistic-type research on Olympic athletes and noticed a, shall we say, revealing exposé on Olympic skier, Lindsay Vonn. Of course I was shocked by this misogynistic objectification of women athletes. As we all know, these sports professionals should never be portrayed as beautiful or in the least bit sexy and I’m outraged to think that anyone (other than a semi-professional journalist working on a scathing denunciation of such chauvinist malfeasance) would admire the athletic feminine physique displayed in all 45 of Lindsey’s images and the video. Or the images of Olympic snowboarder Clair Bidez, for that matter. And the same goes for the shots of Brooklyn Decker who might not even ski at all for all we know and even if she does she’d probably wear those sporty sexy Gore-Tex Pro stretch pants and a slim silhouette softshell top that would cause all sorts of distractions, and we couldn’t have that now could we? Why, the Baptists will be up in arms! As we well know, all female athletes should adhere to the rules of Islam and cover themselves in loose clothing from head to toe at all times. If not … anarchy is sure to reign down upon our fully-clothed and God-fearing empire.
So let the record stand that ChamonixInsider.com does not buy into any kind of post-feminist BS whatsoever and heartily encourages all readers to NOT go to SportsIllustrated.com to see the rather fetching … ahem … I mean, scandalous photos of great athletes like Lindsey Vonn and Clair Bidez. And no Bar Rafaeli, either. Trust me, whatever you do, don’t go there.