Olympic Athlete Outrage!

Being a guy who’s not all that into contests I was kinda thinking I’d avoid an Olympics posting altogether. Unless of course one of the hometown heros was able to bring home a medal. ChamonixInsider is all about bigging up the homies, right?

Lindsey Vonn photographed by Warwick Saint in Whistler Blackcomb, BC, Canada. Skiwear by Ralph Lauren Global Warming collection.

Y’see I really prefer to think that sports like snowboarding – like surfing, skateboarding and climbing – are more about individual expression and personal growth than who can meet some panel of judges’ criteria of what’s good and what’s not. Of course, there are exceptions. Downhill skiing, for instance. In my mind that is without question the most amazing event at the Winter Olympics. But I mean really, how can you call a guy a loser because he was 2/100ths of a second slower than the next dude? I know, I know, the clock is the ultimate judge but seriously, 2/100s of a second? Whatever. I realize that with an attitude like this I’d be a lot better off taking my Birkenstocks and patchouli oil and posting a few telemark stories instead.

But for some reason that I’m going to find difficult to explain to my incredibly amazing and wonderful girlfriend, I found myself on the Sports Illustrated website, doing some … ahem … journalistic-type research on Olympic athletes and noticed a, shall we say, revealing exposé on Olympic skier, Lindsay Vonn. Of course I was shocked by this misogynistic objectification of women athletes. As we all know, these sports professionals should never be portrayed as beautiful or in the least bit sexy and I’m outraged to think that anyone (other than a semi-professional journalist working on a scathing denunciation of such chauvinist malfeasance) would admire the athletic feminine physique displayed in all 45 of Lindsey’s images and the video. Or the images of Olympic snowboarder Clair Bidez, for that matter. And the same goes for the shots of Brooklyn Decker who might not even ski at all for all we know and even if she does she’d probably wear those sporty sexy Gore-Tex Pro stretch pants and a slim silhouette softshell top that would cause all sorts of distractions, and we couldn’t have that now could we? Why, the Baptists will be up in arms! As we well know, all female athletes should adhere to the rules of Islam and cover themselves in loose clothing from head to toe at all times. If not … anarchy is sure to reign down upon our fully-clothed and God-fearing empire.

Clair Bidez photographed by Randall Grant in Whistler Blackcomb, BC, Canada. Lightweight, non-restrictive snowshredding attire by Swim Systems.

So let the record stand that ChamonixInsider.com does not buy into any kind of post-feminist BS whatsoever and heartily encourages all readers to NOT go to SportsIllustrated.com to see the rather fetching … ahem … I mean, scandalous photos of great athletes like Lindsey Vonn and Clair Bidez. And no Bar Rafaeli, either. Trust me, whatever you do, don’t go there.


8 responses to “Olympic Athlete Outrage!

  1. more guns, less money

    What do you mean that downhill is the best event at the Oly-beer-mpics? The sprint biathlon incorporates a venue for performance enhancing cocktails, skiing, a race against the clock and shooting guns.

    • Y’know, you’ve got a point there. Perhaps they should think about arming the downhillers with their weapon of choice and once they reach the bottom of the course they can start blasting away at halfpipe riders as they float over the lip of the pipe for bonus points.

      All Olympic events should have guns really. And cheerleaders.

  2. Ah, this informative post takes me back to the days I had you in a business plan as Bikini Editor. Why didn’t they give us the cash for that?? We only wanted a million! Great work Insider, we can rely on you for the scoops.

  3. I guess they needed something to do while helicopters flew in a million tonnes of snow to make the Winter Olympics events happen. The irony of swimsuits shoots using winter athletes and helicopters shipping in snow while global warming melts it all just as fast is not lost I hope.

  4. Clair Bidez needs some new bindings. Those are Progression Customs, for godsakes. Money must be tight if she’s declothing to pay for capstraps.

  5. Dear CI,
    As a devout Baptist, I heartily concur with your editorial perspective on women in sports, Chamonix Insider. In defense of my beliefs – and my very upbringing itself – I was compelled to visit the SI site to view first-hand the devil’s efforts to unravel the holy binds that tie us all.
    I was flabbergasted! Such filth-flarn-filth on the public internet freeway left me simply aghast.
    It is only through the persistent and vigilant exercise of our 1st amendment rights (by that I refer to the global morality of truth, no the US constitution) that we can drive a wedge between satan and the good that is within us all.
    Bally to you, CI, for the consistence of your integrity!
    Rev. Dawg
    ps: I have bookmarked the site in question to keep abreast (ahem!) of the situation.

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